Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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