Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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