She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
A bitchslap is in order.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
