dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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