Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
