Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I deserve this hangover.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
