you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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