is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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