I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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