Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
