Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
