i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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