did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
