you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
