the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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