dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My dick has a subreddit
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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