Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
dude i'm inner monologue high
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
