just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
