please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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