I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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