He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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