I think my vagina is haunted
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize