Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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