Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
