I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize