I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize