im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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