I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
