yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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