You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
