can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The convent might be a nice break from real life
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize