I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize