Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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