just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
