We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i out mim tonsoeep
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
