Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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