You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
