You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
