all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
