Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize