I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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