While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
