I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
