i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
