a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Damn victory sex feels great
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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