clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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