In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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