garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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