this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
