i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
