My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
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The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
PANTIES FOUND
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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