i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
how drunk are you?
Several
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
