And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
