Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
