Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
