So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
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I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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