dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
