first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
