I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
