That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
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They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
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New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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